For My Final Trick
CAST:
The Great Pendejo/Dad: A terrible father due to working as a magician.
Leo: The son of a magician, and has pent-up feelings against his dad.
Mom: Used to like her husband’s magic, but got tired of it at the end.
(Open to LEO standing in front of a tombstone in a cemetery. DAD skips into the scene and flails his cape.)
LEO
Psh, now you show up.
DAD
Ha, yeah. I don’t have any shows planned anymore. I’m all out of abracadabras and alakazams. Nothing up my sleeves.
LEO
Can you stop with the magic talk, please? I’m so sick of it.
DAD
Can you stop being childish? I’m your father, show some respect. Gosh, now pick a card.
(Dad pulls out a deck of cards, but Leo smacks it out of his hands. As the cards are flying in the air, Dad catches some in his cape and pulls out a banner made out of cards that reads “You’re a dick.”)
LEO
(Leo shakes his head in disappointment.)
God, mom hated that trick.
(In a mocking voice)
Pick a card. Why couldn’t you have picked up a birthday card and actually be there for one of my birthdays.
DAD
Well, someone had to work to buy all the bird feed.
LEO
You didn’t have to use live doves for your act. Jesus, you wasted all our food stamps on bird feed.
DAD
Oh, and use fake birds like an amateur. What will people think of The Great Pendejo if he used fake birds?
LEO
Dad, pendejo is Spanish for asshole. How many times do I have to tell you that?
DAD
Just lighten up, okay.
LEO
You’re a disappointment.
DAD
I KNOW! I just wanted to show you what it would look like to follow your dreams, but I messed all that up. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.
(Pause)
So, for my final trick, I’ll disappear, forever.
(Stage turns black for a couple seconds. As the lights come back on, Leo is the only one on stage. MOM walks into the scene and is carrying a box.)
MOM
It took a while, but I found it.
(Mom pulls out a banner made out of cards that reads “You’re a dick.”)
I think your father would’ve wanted you to have this.
(Mom hands Leo a birthday card. Leo opens the card and reads the inscription.)
LEO
Was this your card? Love, The Great Pendejo.
(Leo shows a small smirk, as Mom shakes her head in disappointment as she places the banner over the tombstone.)
MOM
God, I hated that trick.
LEO
It wasn’t that bad.
(CUT TO BLACK)